I dumped a man who loved me because my relatives hated him,” Otim Sandra Ojal acknowledged tearfully during her testimony at a church service in Lira yesterday. This highly educated woman, holding two degrees from Makerere University, shared her poignant story with a congregation that seemed divided in their response. While many well-groomed women in the audience laughed at her misfortune, others listened intently, perhaps understanding the weight of her regret.
Sandra described her former partner as a man who cherished her deeply. “He went through a lot for me, trying everything to make me happy and succeed in life,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “I also loved him. He was kind, humble, patient, and focused. He always wished me well.” Despite the love that bound them, her relatives, particularly her brother and cousins, never approved of him. They were intent on finding a different man for her, largely influenced by incentives they had received from someone else.
My husband, the man I loved, was incredibly supportive but never believed in buying my family’s affection-Sandra lamented. He never believed in appeasing my brothers and relatives yet my ex- partner would go an extra mile to gain closeness to my brothers, sisters and friends- Sandra said. They always filled my head with doubts about the man i loved, telling me not to trust him, advising me to keep secrets and live my life without his knowledge.” She recalled how her relatives, who also professed to be born again, quoted Bible verses to sway her trust away from the man who had shown her nothing but devotion.
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As time passed, the change in Sandra’s demeanor became apparent to her partner, yet he remained steadfast in his love and protection. But my relatives continued to undermine him, not openly, but by constantly speaking ill of him and trying to tarnish his reputation,” she reflected. “Eventually, I sadly believed them.
These were the people she had trusted most, her own blood — brothers, sisters, cousins, and church friends. After the painful breakup,she sought guidance from pastors,and God revealed that her former partner was indeed a good man. But by then, it was too late. After two years, I discovered that my relatives had been benefiting from my ex-partner, who had indirectly bribed them, while he also consulted witch doctors to spread hatred against the man who truly loved me,” she disclosed.
In a desperate attempt to find solace, Sandra turned to another man from her church who promised her “heaven on earth.” However, this relationship turned out to be a nightmare.After one year of marriage, I left him and reunited with my ex-partner whom my brpthers,sisters and friends wanted-she explained. From that moment, my life descended into spiritual darkness. I lost touch with God and struggled to recognize who I was. I would see myself in complete darkness but could not find my way out.
The turmoil escalated when she became pregnant and gave birth, but when her child was just six months old, they parted ways as the man harrassed me and spent days in tears“I was in total darkness, and none of my relatives would help me,” she said. This man would describe me as a useless woman looking for personal survival.
I tried to return to the man I loved, but he had moved on but Still, he chose to support me in starting a business for my survival. God had blessed him with good life, a family and he was too successful. Yes, I regretted leaving him-sandra noted. This man had loved me and I knew but I listened to my relatives and friends.
Now at 47, Sandra reflected on a life shattered by the very people she had trusted. I realized that once you find your man, you must believe in him, trust him, and let him lead you,” she said, her voice filled with sorrow. “If you listen to your relatives and friends, you might find yourself lost. They will never be in your bedroom with your man. I now know that it’s very easy to know a good man, you feel it by yourself the way I used to feel about the man my relatives hated most.
Regret seeped through her words as she acknowledged her mistakes. I regret listening to my relatives, especially my brothers and friends. They painted a picture of the man I loved as someone who would ruin my life, but I always saw him as a good person, she confessed. I abandoned him due to the pressure from my closest relatives.
Sandra’s life now stands in stark contrast to the promising future she once envisioned. I worship Jesus Christ in my church every day, pleading for redemption, for forgiveness. I have repented for disappointing the man who loved me and for returning to the ex-partner whom God showed me was bad for me, she shared through tears.
Pastor Jane Okobe has been praying for me, but I cry every day, she added. My relatives always told me to keep secrets and manage my plans alone without engaging him. Pastor Jane advised me to love my relatives but never let them decide for me when it comes to matters of the heart.
Now living in Lira City, Sandra faces the challenges of life as a single mother, her heart heavy with pain. It is so challenging,she concluded, her voice barely above a whisper. I am left to navigate the ruins of a life that could have been beautiful, all because I trusted the wrong people.
